A somewhat of a welcome

The obligatory introduction post as it were, this is where you get a small insight (god help you) into my brain and my blog. This, is an exercise in understanding my subconscious in a way, but before you run away screaming, I'm not going to be getting all psychological or mathematical. No, that's not my jam. That's simply not me. So, first things first, who am I? Well, on my birth certificate it says I'm Alice Foster. And that's simply who I am. Alice, but I go by many nicknames. 17 years and counting (so close to being legal) and currently hanging around in the limbo that is study leave for the year 13 student. I officially study: english, law and drama and theatre studies, but in each lesson I feel there's a crossover to a different subject, another level of thought. And that is where the foundations for this blog came about.

I, like many other human beings, find myself bored a lot of the time. This is nothing to do with my surroundings, my peers anything like that, it is simply down to the fact that I question everything. And oh my god, it makes it hard for people to be around me sometimes. And so, I thought it was time to stop taking out my questions on my friends and parents and teachers and go through my own way of understanding. I question things, because I find them unfair, or wrong or simply puzzling. I write because I find it is a way of understanding, of conveying my feelings. Sure, I'm never going to write a novel, we can't all be the John Green's of the world, but who wants to be that. The pressure that man is under is insurmountable and I would never be able to have his positive attitude to the world around me. No, simply put, I'm the pessimistic sort. I'm trying to change it, but I find in a world of war, where sex sells, where being intelligent is undervalued compared to the handbag someone wears, it can be hard to see the world in anything other than a place that just sucks. And in that, I find beauty in the dark, in the macabre, but I also find beauty in the superficial, the popular. That ultimately is the world we live in, one where a child's intelligence is balanced out into a series of number and stats. I hate it, truth be told. I would much rather that people talked to that child who struggles to write down, but is full of wonderful ideas, who is magic to be around, but who doesn't know how to put it to paper. But, that simply will never happen. I accept that, I live with it. I deal with it. But I always know that behind that exam grade there is a real person, with real faults and strengths, and that person is never valued as much as they should be.

But, before I turn into a sop, I'm going to stop. This blog will be my diary as it were, the place where my thoughts land on a page and turn into words. Sometimes it'll be sad, sometimes it'll be happy, but that is the beauty of this blog - it's mine, and only mine.

I hope you do enjoy coming along for the ride, and I hope that maybe, just maybe I can finally start to understand myself. But I'm not looking for miracles.

As the big man himself once wrote:
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more..."